Three BEING REVISED!
by shucksguts
Summary: "You are going to take me away?" / She could feel her confusion grow under her skin like mold as the shadow insistently held out its hand. / "I think I would like that." OC with mental issues. Give it a chance, may take some getting use to. Warning; mentions of abuse and self harm. BEING REVISED! SEE AUTHOR'S NOTE!
1. Chapter 1 REVISED!

Pain invaded her senses like a cold chill crawling up her spine. She had unlearned her fear, she felt glassy nothingness, but out of everything the pain remained. Constant and stagnant. Her ears had turned deaf from the screaming, from the crying and she could only stare ahead at nothing. She should have been able to see the red, orange, and yellow colors dancing in her vision, but it was lost. Her eyes turned willingly blind as she laid upon the wooden boards of what was her home. She was so ready to embrace it all, to let the warmth enveloped her form and let her life be born again. In her mind she became an amazing phoenix, rising from her charred remains, but something stirred within her mind. While she was willing to let her body decay and stop its existence, she was not about to let her brother face that same pain. That was not something she could have happen. She was the older twin, and therefore it was her duty to care for her brother.

She pushed herself up with her feeble arms and her vision and sound returned to her. She could hear the agonizing screaming of the people who birthed herself and her brother. While she wished she could allow the feeling of joy take hold, she had a purpose she needed to fill out. She pushed her brother roughly and watched as he coughed and sputtered. His mint green eyes stared forward and he let out a soft scream. She frowned and tugged him to his feet and lead him to the window of the house they lived in. She roughly pushed her brother from the window and jumped out herself. She heard a sharp cry from her brother and frowned as he began to crawl from the home. She felt pain in her side, but it didn't matter. She needed to fulfil her duty as the older twin.

She pulled her feeble form upwards and dragged herself to her brother. She roughly picked up his form, supporting his weight with her own and had she been more lucid she might have realized how heavy her brother was compared to herself. She did not have time to ponder this, she had one thought in her head; get Marcus far away from the burning house.

"Maria! What about mom? Dad?" She could hear her brother sob and her vision pointed down towards him. She shook her head. The people who had sired her brother and herself no longer mattered to her, and they hadn't for a very long time. They were faceless demons that her brother idolized and she merely tolerated their presence for her dearest Marcus. He was all that mattered to her.

"Pretend we're okay and move forward." Her tone was dull and listless, but it had been that way for a very long time. She dragged her brother farther and farther from the house they once occupied; her ears could faintly pick up the quieting sounds of her captor's cries and screams. They would not survive, but she and Marcus would and that's all that mattered to her.

* * *

"I cannot take them into my home! I have six children of my own and I can barely survive as I am now! I cannot feed two more mouths!" She could hear the woman screech and she could feel the glare on her form like the heat from the sun. It was so concentrated, so filled with energy she thought she might explode, but that did not matter. Her eyes concentrated on her brother, who lay his head in her lap. She carefully brushed her hand through his hair and noted that it needed to be cut soon, otherwise it would get into his eyes. She paid no mind to her singed hair or her torn night dress. Her concentration was on her dearest Marcus. He was minutes younger than she, and at the moment he was small. She was only taller than he because females grew faster, but for not as long as boys did. Soon he would be much bigger than she, but she would still remain the older sibling.

"Auntie isn't taking us, is she Maria?" Marcus curled tighter to her form as she shook her head. The people who had spawned herself and her brother were worthless, as was the rest of their pathetic family. "No, Marcus. We are going to be put into a home, where maybe someone who cares will adopt us." She explained this so certainly, and she was positive that they would end up adopted together. Perhaps they would be in a home, with a nice young couple who had a big backyard and a puppy and maybe a kitten and she could take care of Marcus and let him grow into a decent young man. She could see it all now and the idea that they might be happy one day made her excited for what was to come.

* * *

She could see them glaring at her and she felt only giddiness. Their charred forms crawled towards her spot on the bed and she felt herself giggle softly. The sounds of their wailing was like music to her young ears. They reached forward with blackened hands, dragging their corpses up to her bed and she could only smile and grin. It was music, beautiful music to her ears and she thanked God that her dearest brother would not have to know the feeling she felt. She knew she was destined to hell for the decisions she made and the way she felt, but at least her brother would have a spot in heaven. He would be a perfect angel with beautiful white feathers and while he stayed in His Kingdom, she could look up at him every night and know he shined with the other angels. He was her little star and he would accomplish everything she wouldn't.

* * *

She had realized something the other day. Something fantastic and wonderful. The number three was the pinnacle of everything. The number three was found everywhere and it was at the center of the universe. It was at the center of her and she also realized she was the master of the universe. She also found it pathetic that the universe would choose her to be the master. Three was amazing and wonderful, but Maria, Maria was disgusting. She had become aware that she was disgusting when she had confided in her brother and told him of the night of the fire. She told him about the amazing giddiness she felt every time she remembered their screaming and pleading for help, but instead she helped him and he had called her a monster, called her disgusting.

She had been unaware that the overseer of the orphanage they occupied had heard this as well. It wasn't until the matriarch Miss Mandy had called her into her room that she realized she truly was disgusting. She was the trash of the universe, but she was also its master. That night when Miss Mandy had instilled in her the ideal she was disgusting, she did not cry out once. Every slap and hit and squeeze and tear of her skin felt like the breeze and when Miss Mandy had finished laying down the law, she returned to her brother. He had not understood and she was thankful. Her dearest Marcus did not need to know more of the cruelty of the world. He did not deserve it when his life had already been so filled with loss. Not only that, but he had to share the same appearance of his monstrous sister.

It was that night that she lay bruised and bleeding that she had decided she would take up less space. She would take up less space and she would devote herself to the number Three, but on top of it all, she would continue to make sure her angel of a brother had a devil watching his every move. It was her gift to him.

* * *

"Maria… Maria! Are you okay? Why are you crying?" Her senses had been invaded by a heavenly voice and briefly she wondered if He was gracing her with His presence. It was not He, but her dearest Marcus who woke her from her lovely slumber. Slowly she sat up and stared at Marcus with dull mint eyes.

"Can you not tell? I am always sick. I am weak, I am feeble. I grow sicker as the days move forward and I wish I could freeze time so that I would not grow weaker." She smiled at her dearest Marcus' ignorance. It was not his fault, but her own, she knew this, but she had to uphold Three, always Three.

"You don't seem weak to me." She stared at her brother with such shock and disdain. He truly believed what he said and she felt anger coil beneath her skin like a viper ready to strike upon its victim.

"Really?" She scowled as she ripped up her white blouse, showing her dearest brother the markings between her ribs. Her stark-white skin was muddied with purple bruises inflicted upon her by the matriarch of the orphanage. Miss Mandy was sure she was a demon and she was not about to deny the older woman. She was a demon, she was disgusting and gross and without Marcus or Three, she would be nothing. The universe would not even exist if not for three.

"Jesus Christ! You need help Maria!" Her brother's gaze had turned desperate and she felt her scowl deepen. She did not need help! The only help she could receive is if the creatures of the universe began to take care of themselves. They were the true cause of her decline in health, she was certain of this.

"And who shall I tell, Marcus? Miss Mandy? She is partly to blame for this." She hissed out her words with such malice as she tugged her shirt back down and stared ahead with a blank gaze. Like a few years ago her ears turned deaf and her eyes turned blind. She was unaware of her hand clawing at her thin sides until her brother ripped her hand away from her body to show her chewed down nails. She had done that to save herself the trouble and make Miss Mandy truly work to inflict the damage she pleased. Why make the job any easier for her attacker?

"What're you doing?" Her brother looked so concerned and briefly she felt her heart tremble with guilt.

"Nothing, Marcus. Why not go outside and play with the other kids? I will be fine." She smiled and her brother bought her farce as she stared on ahead blankly. Her hand wound its way back up to the spaces between her ribs and pathetically clawed at her purpled skin.

* * *

"Maria… I am being adopted, you know that, right?" She nodded her head and smiled. The news was not new to her. Miss Mandy had made sure that she and Marcus were split up and had even told her of these plans, and she saw no reason to interrupt them. Her Marcus would be happy in his new home, with people he could call actual parents and he would not have to deal with his sickly, feeble sister who was disgusting. She would only drag him down and he needed to spread his wings and fly to the heavens where he belonged. Perhaps one day she would help him to heaven before turning herself over to Hell's gates.

"Yes." She paused and stared at her brother, certain this was the last she would see of him. His hair was dark brown, almost black like her own and the same mint green eyes. His skin was tanned from time in the sun, while hers was white and ill looking. It was no wonder her brother was being adopted while she wasn't. She was sick and no one wanted broken merchandise.

"I wish I could bring you with me…" Her brother's tone sounded so wounded and she felt her lip tremble. Emotions sprang upon her like a mountain lion pouncing on its unsuspecting prey. It had been so long since she felt something other than admiration for her younger brother or the deep loathing she felt towards herself.

"You need a family, plus… We will see each other again." She smiled at her brother, feeling bad for her lie. She could not feel the guilt get to her as her brother threw his arms around her and she tensed. She was not use to being touched, it was a foreign feeling and attempting to understand it was like trying to understand another language.

"I will miss you." Her brother slowly and reluctantly let go of her and headed out of her life forever. Once she was sure he was gone, she let out a sob and curled up on her bed. She would never see him again, this she was sure of.


	2. Author's Note

I love this story too much to simply let it go, so I'm revising it so far, which I know is a big bummer since I'm part way through, but I feel I could write this so, so much better! The characters will remain the same. Three/Maria will still be insane, but I feel the need to rewrite what I have so far. I apologize for being an indecisive author and I promise the revision will make the story that much better and the chapters will be far, far longer.


	3. Chapter 2 REVISED!

She nearly laughed at the look upon Miss Mandy's face when she was being adopted. The couple was a bit older, but she did not mind. They told her they would help her and she wanted to spit in their faces for their hope. She was beyond help, she could only be helped when the universe began to help itself. Then Three would be healthy and she would not be quite so disgusting. Then, perhaps then, she would be able to take up more matter, more space and not be confined to such a meager existence. However she was certain the universe would not help itself, so she would remain forever disgusting and forever small.

"We are so glad we could get you out of there." Her fake father had seemed extremely happy and she had watched as her fake mother had gone about sending the authorities a notice of Miss Mandy's mistreatment. She had felt that familiar crawling of giddiness slithering beneath her skin. It was like a snake in that it did not belong beneath her skin. Her face remained blank as she stared up at her fake father and nodded.

"We have a room all set up for you." Her fake mother had taken to speaking up now that she was done with the sordid business of dealing with Miss Mandy. She was lead to a room that was painted with disgusting pastels and she felt her very being ripple and contort. It was disgusting and loathsome and she wondered if her new, fake parents were doing this to make her suffer. Did they think she a demon like her brother and Miss Mandy knew she was? She was certain she had kept the details of her demonic nature hidden so well that even He would think she could be an angel, but she knew when her time ended, and the universe collapsed in on itself, she would remain forever in Hell while she watched her dearest brother spread his wings and fly, just as he deserved.

"Thank you." Her tone was sharp and curt and she could only stumble into the messy blaze of pastels. She felt very ill and she wished at that moment that she could throw up her insides so that she might be able to see them. She was certain her insides were black and that her blood was poison, just as her vocal chords became. The more she spoke, the heavier the poison within her. Somewhere she held the antidote, but that secret was best kept safe and unspoken. In the meantime she would poison those around her.

"Go on, then. Sleep. You have had a busy day." Her fake mother urged her towards her bed and robotically she moved. Her joints coiled and uncoiled like a well oiled machine as she pulled back the comforter on her new bed. She cringed at the light purples that made her sheets and she thought she might bleed from her pores if she touched the material. Slowly her body slid beneath the sheets and she let her muscles relax for the time being. She would appease her fake parents for the time being by seeming like a normal child and perhaps in time she would grow use to the pastels that made her room a girl's room. Perhaps in time she would be able to convince them to paint everything white so that everything would be uniform, but for the time being she let her body sleep.

* * *

"Oh dearest Maria, do you know how old you will be turning tonight?" She could feel her face muscles twitch and she had hoped her expression was one of wonder. By her fake mother's positive reaction she was sure she had formed the correct emotional response on her face.

"Fourteen." She was nearly a woman now, but she still felt girlish. She figured it due to her poison, her ilk, and her malnourishment she forced upon herself. She was barely five feet and two inches and she just barely passed the eighty pound mark. She could see her ribs and her arms and legs looked like awkward sticks that were haphazardly stuck on a pivot and looked so very easy to break. The very idea of her fragility sent her usually turmoiled mind into a moment of peace.

"You know, soon papa will have to buy a shotgun to keep the boys away from you." Her fake mother's joke fell on deaf ears. She would allow no boys near her. Only Marcus was permitted within her vicinity and if she so much as caught another boy near her she would release the venom in her veins and allow the snakes beneath her skin to consume them. The more she thought of boys, the more her mind filled with memories of her dearest brother. She knew she would need to find him so that she might cease his existence. She would be giving him the gift of angelic wings and he would thank her. She would be sure to stab his chest twice, and then follow up with the third stab to her own chest. He would be permitted into Heaven and she would go to Hell where she would watch her brother with so much admiration. He would be her precious star. She just needed to find him.

"I hope you make friends tonight." Her fake mama stole her reverie of her dearest Marcus and she resisted the urge to hiss at the woman. Instead she nodded her head robotically. She would have to pretend she had a semblance of normalcy to appease her fake parents.

"I will, ma ma." She shifted her mint green gaze to her mother who stared down at her with soft hazel eyes. How different she was from her fake parents. She wondered if her status of being their unchild was obvious. Sadly she was not able to ponder this any longer as her fake mother stood and moved away from her. She could only sigh and hope the events of the evening would not wear too much on her joints. She still needed to find her sibling so that she might fulfill her purpose.

* * *

Her husk was growing weaker as the time continued forward. She wished she could shuck away her skin, but she still had a duty to find her brother. Funnily enough she had managed to find a third person to take away from the world along with herself and her brother. Her dearest fiance Tom. She would stab him first, then her brother, and finally herself and the three of them could waste away as the universe crumbled around their broken husks. The thought of it all was beautiful to her and in her fifteen years of existence she wondered if she might find anything else that was as beautiful as her thoughts.

She was certain it was impossible and that only drove her want to find her dearest brother. She needed to find him before she wasted anymore time. If she waited too long she would grow too weak and she would not be able to fulfill her duty in life as the older twin. The very ideal of wasting away drove her mad.

* * *

She had just turned sixteen when it came to her window and for a while she had pondered if it truly existed. Of course it had, despite the look of the shadow with glowing eyes, it had to exist. Everything she saw existed to her, and this was no different.

"Well, come on in then. It is rude to simply float there as you are. Surely someone has taught you manners." She spoke with brevity as she stared up at her visitor. She watched as the shade moved from her window and floated within her room. She could feel herself frown as she realized her room was filled with pastels and that surely no shadow would want to be surrounded by such awful colors.

"Help yourself. I am not partial to food as others." She motioned her hands towards the plate of fruit she had been brought. Her fake parents had insisted she try and bulk up, even the slightest bit. While she understood their want for her to be healthy, she did not want to take up more space than she already did. To do so would prove disastrous to the universe and her hold on her state of being would grow out of control and that was not something she could have happen.

She watched as the shade moved to the plate of fruit and ripped away the fruit's shadows. She watched with such fascination as the fruit decayed before her very eyes. This caused her to smile as she had managed to find something almost as beautiful as her leaving this world so the universe may crumble. It was so beautiful, she briefly wondered if the shadow might do her a favor by stealing away Tom's, Marcus' and her own shadow. All at once, in one fell swoop. Three and they could each decay at the same rate as the universe fell to pieces.

"Very interesting… Beautiful." She smiled happily at the shade as it stared at her. Or at least it felt like it stared at her. She briefly wondered if it was her own confusion she felt, or the confusion of the shade. Had it never been complimented before?

"So why are you here?"

She stared at the strange shadow as it moved to float in the air and offered her its hand.

"You are going to take me away?"

She could feel her confusion grow under her skin like mold as the shadow insistently held out its hand.

"I think I would like that."

She reached out her hand and felt her vile flesh be constricted by something. The shade had gripped her hand and she felt herself smile. The feeling of the muscles beneath her cheeks that connected to her lips had felt strange and holding the expression felt even odder to her. Strange, but not unwelcome. Slowly she felt herself be lifted from her bed and brought to the window. The feeling of air beneath her feet was a lovely feeling and she wondered if her brother would have this ability when he gained his beautiful white wings. He would be able to fly and feel freedom and she would be forever grounded, but she did not mind if it meant her brother would truly be happy.


	4. Chapter 3 REVISED!

She had been so sure, so certain she had felt the wind beneath the skin of her feet. She had been so sure that a shade had come to her window and her taken her to an amazing new world where she could do as she pleased. She had watched as she had shed her own skin, she had shucked it away with sharp stones made of the stars and she had harvested her bones and her brother, oh her dearest Marcus had been there! She had been able to stab him twice and permit him access to the Heaven she could never reach. And then, then she had stabbed her own heart once and she had been able to watch as her beautiful brother took to the skies and replaced the stars she had stolen.

It had been a wonderful dream, but it was false and she felt her ilk grow beneath her skin, supplying venom to her vocal chords and the serpents that slithered under her husk. The dream was a figment of her imagination, a reality she was toying herself with and it was driving her mad. She could feel the anguish tighten in her chest and she had wanted to scream away her frustrations so that she might actually accomplish an end to her means.

Her anger, her drive turned to her wrist where the skin was the weakest and easily clawed at and in long, furious strokes she ripped away, shucking her skin away just as she had in her dreams. She was going to bleed away some of her poison and release the serpents within her husk so that she might be able to think with a level head.

She tore and tore until she saw the oozing redness of her sick, her ilk, her poison and she actually had managed to laugh. She watched as her poison painted her pastel pink sheets a bright red and she found out then that she had enjoyed that color. Red and three were all she need to care about, just after her Marcus. Red was a beautiful color and it stood out so amazingly among the pastels of her girlish room. It was both a woman's color and a man's color, and it was so strong, so powerful that she briefly wondered if this was not poison she was releasing from her form.

It had to be poison, though, it simply had to. There was no way it could not be for she was so certain of her poisonous words and how the more she opened her mouth and created sounds, the stronger the serpents and poison became.

Sadly her manner of ridding the poison was halted when her fake mother burst into her room with her fake father. The shrillness of her fake mother's shriek had momentarily startled her. She had frozen in place and felt almost like a child who had been caught sticking their hand into the sweets jar.

She had watched as her fake mother wrapped a blanket around her arm and kept pressure on it while her fake father used the telephone to call the authorities. She was confused by their over reactions. She was not going to die, she was simply ridding herself of some of her poison. She would have been just fine if they had not burst into her room, unannounced.

"Oh Maria, my sweet Maria…! First we find you out in the yard, sleeping, and then this! We must get you help!" Her fake mother was wailing and she found herself slowly going deaf and blind to the rest of the world. She had not noticed the paramedics move into her room. She had not noticed them place her and strap her down on a stretcher. She had not noticed her being rushed into the ER where they hurriedly fixed her wounds. She had not realized three days had passed, or that she was being shipped off to a mental ward. Once more in her life she had gone deaf and blind while her mind went to the place the shadow would take her.

* * *

When she had come back to her husk, she had noticed something particularly odd from the people who interviewed her. They had said words like catatonia, schizophrenia, obsessive compulsive disorder, anorexia, depression and she could not understand any of these words. Did they mean the words to apply to her? She was not mentally ill, she was mentally fine. She saw the world for what it truly, truly was. They were just all blind, and she was sure they were willingly blind to the world around them so they had decided to label her. They labeled her with labels because it made them more comfortable, they were simply afraid she would point out the world to them and she found such an ideal so amusing.

She decided she would play their games for a while, simply to appease their insane minds. The pills they gave her tasted of metal and she was happy to find she was an expert on hiding their silly pills. She refused to take any more as there was nothing about her that needed fixing.

She reluctantly ate bigger portions, and had taken to exercising the food she ate away. This had resulted in muscle growth and she found herself so angry for it all. She was taking up more space, more matter with her disgusting, writhing form. She had been so angry, but she continued to play their silly, insane games until they were more lenient with her.

During one night, she had managed to slip out and on her way out she had spotted it again. The shade that would save her and give her salvation. The shadow that would bring her to a far better place and she would be able to find her twin and give him his wings! She had attempted the window many times before she had realized it was locked up to keep the more suicidal patients at bay. With careful strides and stealthy instincts she made her way outside and she had met the shade.

"Do you know the pain you have caused me?" She stared at the shade with her brightest smile. It had been the only thing to see her smile aside from her dearest Marcus and her once dearest Tom.

"You have caused me a lot of pain. Much has happened since your last visit. My dearest Tom could not bare to spend a life with someone he deemed insane. My fake parents have further shunned me and they are so unaware and most of all… I am taking up more space than needed, I fear my poison will grow so strong that the antidote in my body cannot combat it any longer." She continued her smile as the shade floated there, weightless and nearly formless, but she could see easily that its form was that of a boy's.

"I swear upon you… If I wake up in a bed once more, I will consume you. I will eat you and eat your world and see to it that the stars in the sky seal your cage within my belly." She hissed to the shade and watched as it reached out its hand to her and she reached up and gripped its form tightly. Once more she felt air beneath her feet and she watched as the shadow carried her to the sky and slowly she felt herself drift from her body. This time she was positive she would not wake in a bed, but rather in a place where her truest dreams would come to fruition.


End file.
